apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
