Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
