guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
