At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
