the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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