He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
