i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
