New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
