He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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