i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
