My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
