I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
