Just cropdusted the office
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
