Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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