so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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