also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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