Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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