Already got asked if we're dating
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
