now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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