thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
