Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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