i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
