Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
