He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
