I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We need to get me chipped asap
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
