i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
