I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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