Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
