If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
