Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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