I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
