It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
