There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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