you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
