Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
