I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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