i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
