I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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