the condom got lost in my hair
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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