I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
