Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
