i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
