Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Acid is not a monday night drug
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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