We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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