we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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