im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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