My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
