We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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