worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
