everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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