it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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