new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
3pm strippers are depressing
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
